Family

I have never been away from my family for this long. Tomorrow it will be five weeks since I moved to Texas. Yesterday I was thinking "wouldn't it be great if I could get a huge hug from my mom and a huge bear hug from my dad? and a big furry hug from Aspen?". I was also thinking about my second niece being due a week from today. I love her so much already, even though I do not know her name and she is not born yet. I think the next time I see any of my family I have a face full of tears because I will be so happy to see them. I knew living away from home would be hard but tried not to let it get to me because I also knew God had an amazing plan for me.

Today I am still waiting for the plan to unfold and wishing I could visit my family while I wait. This leads me to wonder how in the world non-Christians survive. With all of the s**** I have been through and seen others go through and now being this far away from home, I know I could not have made it this far without my Heavenly Father. Who do non-Christians turn to during the s****y times and when they are lonely? Just another empty person who feels the same way?

Wow, this post is getting deep, but stick with me here. I have been thinking about this for a little while and might as well share it. For those of you who know me well you know I have dealt with a lot of crap in my life. It is always one thing after the other and the past year or so has been the hardest. Here is the cool thing: I have grown more in my faith and knowledge of God the most in the past year. God has blessed me through some really s****y times when I was struggling to hold on. I have learned from those times and from the mistakes I made (that God allowed me to make). You see, the thing is, I experienced that crap and made those mistakes so those around me can learn from what I went through and did and do not have to experience it first hand.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

Am I mature? No. I am always a work in progress. But I have learned that I cannot be so trusting of people and not let people get too close until I really know who they are. I have also learned that there in one who I can trust in any situation (again how do non-Christians survive?).

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path's straight." Proverbs 3:5, 6

I think God has been preparing me to work in a non-Christian environment where I will need to be Jesus to my coworkers. He is teaching me more about being Him to other people in non-obvious ways. I can be outspoken and like to tell it as it is and after all I have been through lately it is easy for me to praise God and share him with others. But I need to remember that others are watching me closely, for that difference in me, and do not want to hear how I am glad I experienced the s****y times. Don't get me wrong, I did not enjoy those times when they were happening and did not always see the blessing I received during them but looking back I CAN see God working through all of it.

Have you seen God working in your life lately? Even during the crap you wish you did not have to deal with? You may not be ready to be happy about it now and you may be yelling at God to make it stop. That's okay, (as I learned at Harvest) just turn to the Psalms. Open your Bible and start reading.

"The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry (even though at the time it may not seem like he is listening, he is!) the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth (do not dwell on those who hurt you, forgive them and work on getting over the hurt, it is a process). The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them (again, he DOES hear us); he delivers them from all their troubles (His timing is never the same as my timing). The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and save those who are crushed in spirit (he will not let you suffer forever, just for a time)." Psalm 34: 15-18

Please feel free to share with me what God has been laying upon your heart.


disclaimer: I do not like rereading posts after I let the words flow so I am sorry if all the words in my head do not end up on the post, I tend to skip words in sentences when I type or write them out:)